Tumblr is MADE to be SIMPLE.

And i didn’t write simple things. I write rubbish and complicated ones.

So……….change it is.

You like showers better than bubble baths.
You cannot stand pop music.
You have a sister.
You are an only child.
You have brown hair.
You have blonde hair.
You have red hair.
You have glasses.
You wear contacts.
You like TV more than movies.
You don’t talk on the phone often.
You like to shop.
You like emo music.
You are tall.
You are short.
You are average height.
You have long hair.
You have medium length hair.
You have short hair.
You use AIM.
You use Yahoo IM.
You have more than 3 pets.
You like sushi.
You are on a diet.
You live in New York.
You live in California.
You live in Texas.
You are currently on the second floor of your house.
You have a small room.
You are in high school.
You have 1 little brother.
You have an older brother.
You are allergic to something.
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
You have a current crush.
You have many crushes.
You have been kissed.
You have kissed another girl.
You laugh a lot.
You have lots of friends.
You are lonely.
You are depressed.
You are listening to music.
You are doing homework.
You have school tomorrow.
You are sick.
You hate your teacher.
You think your teacher is OK.
There is drama in your school, constantly.
You are wearing sweat pants.
You are wearing socks.
You are wearing a T shirt.
You have lost a loved one.
You hate your school.
You love your school.
You can live with your school, for now.
You have been picked on.
You have been yelled at.
You have gotten in a fight.
You have said a bad word.
You shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
You play basketball.
You play softball.
You play baseball.
You play soccer.
You play football.
You like the New England Patriots.
You like the Indianapolis Colts.
You like the Pittsburgh Steelers.
You like the Green Bay Packers.
You like the Detroit Pistons.
You like the Miami Heat.
You like the Los Angeles Lakers.
You like the Cleveland Cavaliers.
You hate sports.
You get manicures.
You shop at Pac Sun.
You go to the mall a lot.
You are close with your family.
You never fight with your parents.
You have been grounded.
You have driven a car.
You are listening to your ipod.
You are watching TV.
You are watching a movie.
You are listening to the radio.
You are singing.
You are happy.
You are sad.
You are blah.
You are anxious.
You are about to go somewhere.
You haven’t been out of your house for over 3 days.
Someone besides you is in the same room with you.
You love your natural hair.
You hate your eye color.
You wish you were never born.
You write your own songs.
You write books.
You hate to write.
You hate your hometown.
You love your hometown.
You are smart.
You are average.
You are dumb.
You get good grades.
You enjoy having people at your house.
You love going to the movies with a lot of people.
You like to go bowling with your friends.
You have ice-skated before.
You like popsicles.
You think Vanilla is better than Chocolate.

I don’t know myself, really -_- I reblogged this from kzeeyeah.tumblr.com , but i didn’t use the ‘reblog’ thingy.

See how many things that i bolded?

I’m not sure of myself. I don’t think i’m an average. But i’m not that dumb. Yeah, i’ve been to a depressing times when i just wished that i was never born.

I have a lots of friends, but i’m lonely. I don’t think that they’re my friends……… And welllll as i said before, i could be a scowling bitch and laugh-out-loud freakinmaniac in a split second.

Oke, saya memang manusia yang penuh perhitungan dan kecurigaan.

And i’m anxious about…….oh i dontknow. i’m feeling plain now. i don’t wanna know anything. 24 hours is NOT ENOUGH!

MORE TIME! That’s what i need.

Hermione, would you please lend me your time-turner?

Sometimes i want to explode.

Sometimes i want to actualize my imagination, and things on my mind.

Words fail me, easily.

There are just……… so much!

But in a split second, the wind wiped it away.

I have a lot. A lot more than you think i have.

But…… how am i supposed to write, explain, and actualize it all to the world?

And now i’m going back from procrastinating

saya tidak tahu mau bicara dengan siapa, saya tidak bisa cerita ke mereka. ke kamu. ke dia. siapa dia? tidak ada.

tapi mengapa? minggu ini mungkin minggu yang benar-benar buruk yang pernah saya alami. saya harap ini yang paling buruk, saya harap tidak ada yang lebih buruk lagi. karena jika masih ada, saya tidak tahu bagaimana menghadapinya

mungkin karena…..adil. ingin adil, sehingga jika saya belum merasa, saya harus sengsara dulu hingga saya merasa seperti mereka merasa. sehingga semua impas.

bahkan semua keindahan yang tak sabar saya cerita dan sebarluaskan lenyap begitu saja, dengan tangisan….dan lumpur. semua seolah-olah sia-sia. pengalaman pun sepertinya tak berarti. karena toh pasti saya akan lupa. otak saya tidak bisa menyimpan banyak-banyak.hanya segitu. mungkin hanya itu…..yang diberikan.

mereka tidak tahu. jika saya tidak bisa menjaga diri, mungkin sekarang saya sudah terseret dan mati. dan tidak, saya tidak melebih-lebihkan.

pelajaran yang saya dapatkan? tidak tahu. mungkin, cari amannya saja. nikmati apa yang di depan mata. tapi kalau begitu, hidupmu tidak dimaksimalkan (?)

bagaimana ini………… saya tidak tahu apa yang saya mau.

saya ikuti kata hati. saya pergi. tapi jika saya pergi. berbahaya. lebih baik tinggal.

jika saya tinggal, saya akan menyesal, seharusnya tadi pergi!

semua hal penuh konsekuensi. jadi bagaimana kita memilih?

dan mereka tidak menyambut. mereka tidak tahu. mereka bahkan tidak peduli. jadi mau kalian apa?

saya benar-benar tersesat.

saya tidak tahu harus kemana. dengan siapa. keluarga tak mau menolong, teman? tidak ada.

Bahkan ……………… meninggalkan saya.

saya tidak mau bertanya ‘apa salah saya’. banyak. saya tahu. meski saya belum menyadari apa yang membuat saya menerima ini semua. saya tidak bisa tertawa. seharipun saya tidak bisa. tertawa yang benar-benar karena gembira, bukan karena sesuatu yang lucu atau apa.

……………. , saya lelah. saya tidak kuat.

saya ingin tidur. ingin menangis, menumpahkan semua, lalu tidur.

lalu kabur.

karena saya sudah cukup banyak bertempur……

dengan hidup dan kekecewaan dan keputusasaan.

dan saya tidak bisa menghadapi ini semua.

saya ingin tidur….tidur…tidur…tanpa mimpi. dan tidak bangun lagi.

tapi pertanyaan nya masih sama.

kenapa?